I am feeling really weird lately, guess I've had a stroke of nesting reflex, since I see dirt and dust everywhere. Nothing seems clean enough. Pillows are smelly. Blankets are gross cuddled up with our puppy's hair. My own clothes, even though clean, is not fresh enough, not matching my current standards of cleanness. Not to mention tons of baby clothes that needs to be washed and arranged by age and color. Plus a lot of other things like crib, mattress, toys, bottles, changing table - they all need to be either cleaned with a special baby safe spray or sterilizedsome other way. I figured I should start working on it, since I am bored anyways and I don't wanna let the procrastinator inside of me to take over this time when I am preparing for one of the most important moments of my life - meeting my baby. That's why today was the first day of my cycle of laundromat adventures:) By the way, we do plan on getting a washing machine and a dryer, if not new than at least used ones in good condition, anytime soon. For now I have to walk to the laundromat which is 3 blocks away from us. I really don't mind it at this point. I have a cart where I put all the stuff and I have an excuse to get out of house where, anyways, I spend most of my time. Of course, I am not gonna wash my baby clothes there, we will drive to my fiance's mom's place (she lives 5 blocks away) and do all the baby laundry there, since remember, I am a freak and I don't want any germs to contact my baby's soft skin. My goal for today though was to wash these two huge decorative pillows that I have resting on the couches in my front room. I am ashamed to tell you that we actually haven't washed them yet since we bought them (which was probably somewhere before Christmas if not earlier). They are dark red, so you wouldn't really tell if they are dirty until you put you face on them and smell them, and feel the dust. Gross!!! I grabbed all of my slippers as well, since I planned on washing them for a while, and I definitely wanna take one pair to the hospital, cause these socks they give you are terribly rough and slippery.
But actually what I really wanted to tell you about is not my laundry routine. Second time I come to the laundromat and see this family, if you can call it so. A gril, probably my age, maybe even younger, with her two kids - a girl and a boy, either twins or one year apart, anyways somewhere around 4-5. Last time there was a guy (boyfriend/brother/father) with them. This time there was another girl, most likely a friend. First, kids. They are just being silly kids. A little bit too hyper, playful, obviously bored and annoying. All the action though takes place outside right in front of the laundromat. In the meanwhile I am sitting one house away on the stairs reading book (it's too stuffy to sit inside). Last time I didn't hear much of the conversation between the guy and a girl, I was just watching the kids climbing everything they could climb - a street lamp, a mail box, a tree, a trash container. Once in a while a boy would run on the road for fun, and it's actually a two way street with cars and busses. The parents (or whoever they are) most of the time were staying either completely indifferent or overwhelmingly agressive beating the kids right on the street. Today though I was 'lucky' to hear the intellectual conversation the mommy was having with her friend. 90% of the words used were bitch, whore, fuck, screw to mention just a few. Oh, they were both smoking too. Kids being kids were running, jumping, digging the trash container. Mommy was barking at them once in a while. Then the boy, obviously being unhappy with the lack of attention, lifted up a trash can and dumped it out. At this point THE mother got really furious and started chasing him like a dinosaur swearing at him all the nasties words that came to her mind - asshole, bitch, motherfucker, bastard, piece of shit. Eventually, she cought the boy and hit him in a face, and then dragged him down the street like a puppy. I mean, come on! Kids are annoying sometimes, but control your temper, woman. At leat in public. And what kind of a mother would swear around her child and directly at her child blowing the cigarette smoke in his face. I got smacked on a butt when I was little but my mom never called me a bitch and never slapped me across the face. I was completely speechless after that scene I witnessed. I actually wouldn't be surprised if that mother was doing drugs as well. I mean, I am sure she does, she kind of looks like a teenage junkie, but she definitely could be doing it in front of her kids as well. She looked like an agressive psychopath not a loving mother of two. And then I looked at her cute little kids, and I got very sad. Cause in a family like that they will lose their purity and prettiness very soon. They will never know what is a normal family, they will never be loved or taken care of the way they desrve. I really think some people just don't deserve having kids.
You know, I was kind of freaking out lately that I might not be a perfect mother, that I might noe be ready or simply good enough. But this simple life situation I faced today made all my doubts disappear. If mothers like that manage to grow (in this case that's literally the only thing she does), not even raise, kids, then I surely can. The biggest pain of the story mentioned above is that these little ones still love her cause she is their mommy, one and only.
But actually what I really wanted to tell you about is not my laundry routine. Second time I come to the laundromat and see this family, if you can call it so. A gril, probably my age, maybe even younger, with her two kids - a girl and a boy, either twins or one year apart, anyways somewhere around 4-5. Last time there was a guy (boyfriend/brother/father) with them. This time there was another girl, most likely a friend. First, kids. They are just being silly kids. A little bit too hyper, playful, obviously bored and annoying. All the action though takes place outside right in front of the laundromat. In the meanwhile I am sitting one house away on the stairs reading book (it's too stuffy to sit inside). Last time I didn't hear much of the conversation between the guy and a girl, I was just watching the kids climbing everything they could climb - a street lamp, a mail box, a tree, a trash container. Once in a while a boy would run on the road for fun, and it's actually a two way street with cars and busses. The parents (or whoever they are) most of the time were staying either completely indifferent or overwhelmingly agressive beating the kids right on the street. Today though I was 'lucky' to hear the intellectual conversation the mommy was having with her friend. 90% of the words used were bitch, whore, fuck, screw to mention just a few. Oh, they were both smoking too. Kids being kids were running, jumping, digging the trash container. Mommy was barking at them once in a while. Then the boy, obviously being unhappy with the lack of attention, lifted up a trash can and dumped it out. At this point THE mother got really furious and started chasing him like a dinosaur swearing at him all the nasties words that came to her mind - asshole, bitch, motherfucker, bastard, piece of shit. Eventually, she cought the boy and hit him in a face, and then dragged him down the street like a puppy. I mean, come on! Kids are annoying sometimes, but control your temper, woman. At leat in public. And what kind of a mother would swear around her child and directly at her child blowing the cigarette smoke in his face. I got smacked on a butt when I was little but my mom never called me a bitch and never slapped me across the face. I was completely speechless after that scene I witnessed. I actually wouldn't be surprised if that mother was doing drugs as well. I mean, I am sure she does, she kind of looks like a teenage junkie, but she definitely could be doing it in front of her kids as well. She looked like an agressive psychopath not a loving mother of two. And then I looked at her cute little kids, and I got very sad. Cause in a family like that they will lose their purity and prettiness very soon. They will never know what is a normal family, they will never be loved or taken care of the way they desrve. I really think some people just don't deserve having kids.
You know, I was kind of freaking out lately that I might not be a perfect mother, that I might noe be ready or simply good enough. But this simple life situation I faced today made all my doubts disappear. If mothers like that manage to grow (in this case that's literally the only thing she does), not even raise, kids, then I surely can. The biggest pain of the story mentioned above is that these little ones still love her cause she is their mommy, one and only.