Well, it's been a while since I posted here, but I had a really valid excuse for it. Look what I got!!!! My little boy Sawyer Alexander Sides is here. We've been together for 12 days already and it's been magical. I've been so scared of not bonding with my baby, having a postpartum depression or being too stressed and angry due to all the sufferings I had to go through. All my worries were completely groundless. Let me tell you this: it's not that I don't remeber the horrors of labour and wanna go through it again, but now I finally agree with my mom as well as my husband's mom - it was all worth it. I am not a masochist and still don't plan on having any more children in future (besides the adopted one, since I really want a girl). But when I heard my son's first cry and held him in my arms it all was filled with meaning. The price I paid to have him didn't seem that unfair anymore. I knew pregnancy was changing me a lot making me understand the basics of motherhood. But only with the birth of my child I cognized the wisdom of being A MOTHER. Only with my son I experienced unconditioned love and tenderness. And for the first time in my life I faced the realization of the fact that I will kill anyone for him. I would die for him! I honestly have never felt so selfless in my life before, never! I am ready to do anything that is in my power to give him all the best. Being a mother is a wonderful feeling. Definitely the most powerful one that I have experienced so far. Plus being a mother I am finally able to understand my own parents so much better. I am really thankful to them for giving me the greatest gift in their power through the power of God - my life. I will post my birth story next. It's just really late right now and I need my naps:) Oh, and my baby is quite like the one in my dreams - sleeping a lot and being super calm. What can I say, I am blessed to have my Sawyer. And I am blessed as well to have the most loving and caring man by my side! My Sides, my Mishka, my super hero - I love you, my baby's papa!!! Thank you Lord for keeping me on the right path and staying by my side in the moments of weakness. Bless our family and our loved ones and grace us with your presence at every step of our lives.