Not really chronologically in this post. Just some thoughts that I have in mind today. I am lying in my bed being totally lazy and tired even though I slept enough. It's getting more and more challenging to find a comfortable position for sleep and for rest. Can't lie on my back cause the baby is instantly cutting off my blood circulation. Lying on my sides is not really convenient for anything but sleeping. I can't really read or type in such position. Sitting is another challenge cause when I sit straight the baby being in the upside down position already is pressing with his little fit on my diaphragm making it hard to breathe. It feels like someone put his fist under you rib and keeping it there. Today it's been even funnier since I could definitely see and feel my baby's lil butt sticking out from under my ribs on the right side while his feet were kicking me on the left side in the middle of my belly. So, I assume he was lying upside down on his side with his butt and spine on the right side and arms with legs on the left. Pretty sure that was exactly what was happening.
But I wanted to mention some other thoughts that have stroke my mind today. I am usually a pretty active person. I love moving around, doing stuff. I love exercising, running outside, going to the gym, chilling out with friends. I do have some days when I just stay in my bed or on the couch being a vegetable and watching movies, but I use that as a re-charge. And after a day or two of that veggie life style I am back on track searching for more adventures.
With the pregnancy it's all so different. I was pretty active in my first and especially my second trimester. I worked a lot, went out, travelled a little, I was constantly moving and doing something. Of course, I had lazy days, but just once in a while. My third trimester is completely different. It's been almost a month since I worked my last shift for now. I should mention my last weeks at work were pretty busy and rough since it was hockey play offs and our team was rocking it. Back then I was so exhausted that I was actually looking forward to the days when I didn't have to work anymore, so that I could just stay at home and chill, and read, and shop for the baby stuff, and meet with my girlfriends. Well, after a month of 'living a dream' I am dreaming of being back behind my bar or on the floor making money and communicating with the others. I miss the social aspect of my job most of all. But I also miss being useful. No matter how many steaks I fry at home, how many pies I bake or how many corners of my house I clean, I still feel like It's all so lame.
I don't see my girlfriends that often since they all work, have boyfriends and personal stuff to do. On top of that I can't really hang out. It's been mostly hot and humid. With that kind of weather I can barely make it through a short walk with my puppy. I try not to leave the house by myself if I need to go downtown. Too much risk, especially with my blood pressure jumping at this weather and my dizziness that comes and leaves when it pleases. Maybe I am overreacting, but it's not just about me, it's mostly about my baby. And if there's any risk I'd better do my best to avoid it. I thought I would go to the beach and chill in the shade. Well, it's so stuffy out there that I start passing out after 20 minutes of that not quite pleasant experience. Not to mention that I get embarrassed of my growing belly and all the attention that I get. I thought I would go to the movies every week. You don't even need a companion for that plus there's a theater one stop away from us. But remember my issues with sitting straight. Actually, sitting in any position for two hours is not that easy, don't forget about often trips to the bathroom as well. The movie experience is completely spoilt by all that mentioned above. I remember when me and M went to watch the Man of Steel I couldn't breathe half of the movie and for another half of it I was trying to calm my child who was jumping in my belly encouraged by loud sound effects. The theater was also crowded so there was no way I could stretch or put my feet on the seat next to me. Oh, and we were sitting in the fourth row since there were no other tickets available, so my neck was killing me after all.
I really wish I could go suntanning, and swimming, and out to the bar, and roller blading, and for a run in the park, and to the gym. I miss work. I miss my life the way I lived it before. Now I think I should have drunk more, partied harder, gone out more often. I only pray that I have enough energy to get back to my normal life rhythm after the baby is born.