Took me a while to finally start this post. I have a feeling it will take me a couple attempts to finish it) It's really a lot to tell, and on the other hand, I really do not have that much time. I felt pretty exhausted the last couple days, but today I finally got enough sleep and still am full of energy at 2 am after waking up at 2 pm. I kind of try to fix my sleeping schedule though. My goal is going to bed around midnight and getting up around 9. Minus two feedings, and this should give me around 6-7 hours of sleep if the baby is not fussy or super active and willing to stay up for hours. In case if he doesn't let me sleep enough at night I could take a nap during day. I am not very used to it, but at this point I have to take care of myself and make sure I get enough of rest, cause otherwise I really suck as mommy being irritated, inattentive and angry. Anyways, back to my birth story.
As I mentioned couple posts before I was waiting for my Tuesday appointment to see if I got any further or should I say closer to a big moment. In any case, we agreed that my doctor sends me to the hospital that same day and we go from there. My check up didn't give us any news. The only thing that changed since my previous appointment, the baby had dropped lower. Still no effacement or dialation. I didn't notice any signs of close labour as well. No mucus plug, no bleeding, no crazy nesting instinct (besides the one I already had for over a month), even my contractions got way milder comparing to those I had two weeks earlier. Since I was determined to have this baby asap I came to my doctor's office all ready. I had two hospital bags packed, I painted my nails, did my make up and curled my hair (silly me). I was a little nervous and tired, cause I slept only for a couple hours the previous night. My doctor sticked to the plan and sent me to the hospital. She previously explained to me what was gonna happen step by step and promised to visit me there in the evening. I got accepted to the hospital around 2 pm. The room I got was super huge and nice. I was told to get changed into a hospital gown. Then they put monitors on my belly to see baby's heartbeat and my contractions. I also got a tonometer sleeve on my right arm to measure my pressure. And of course they couldn't skip the IV in my left arm. You know surprisingly all these things were so freaking annoying and bothering! The monitors made my belly super itchy, the sleeve was squeezing my arm every freaking 2 minutes and it was actually even painful, my IV was just hurting and I couldn't find a comfy position for my arm to rest. Not to mention that using the bathroom was another pain in the ass since I had to carry my IV bag and it took forever to get me detached from the monitors. I had to ask Mike for help every time I had to pee which was probably every half an hour. They even let me have a light dinner!! But since my biggest fear was pooping while pushing I was really hesitant about eating anything at all. I had a couple bites and drank the whole cup of nasty hospital coffee which at that point seemed to be so delicious.
There were many check ups done by nurses and doctors but the action started much later. Only around 7.30 I finally got to the first stage of my induction - with a prostaglandin. And of course it was a male doctor which made me feel so uncomfortable that I was almost ready to refuse and wait for a female one. Silly me! How does this work. The tablet of prostaglandin is used to ripen the cervix since in my case there were no signs of effacement or dialation yet. The tablet is usually devided into 4 parts and is inserted into vagina. It is supposed to stimulate contractions. The second piece of the tablet can be given in 8 or so hours in case if there is no progress. After I got a tablet the nurses came every couple hours to check if I was contracting well. And I was. My contractions were pretty regular and somewhere at 6 and later 7 on a scale to 10 (10 would be the most painful contractions I experienced until getting epidural). I was offered some pain medication but I was scared taking it would slow down my dialation and I just wanted to be over it asap, so I was concentrating on my breathing and whining to my husband. The worst thing was that my contractions were barely a minute and a half apart, so I didn't have much time to relax. On the other hand, I was encouraging myself imagining how I was dialating more and more with every contraction. Another words, I was trying my hardest to justify the pain I was going through. Probably three hours after induction my doctor finally came to check on me as she promised. But after sticking her fingers you know where she killed me with the news - I was only 1 cm dialated and 10% effaced. Well, 8 hours since my induction around 4 am after suffering so badly, refusing pain medication, and being completely exhausted I was finally offered to have some rest. I didn't progress any further since my doctor's check up and it was decided to let me sleep in order to start all over in the morning. At this point something funny happened. I was contracting every two minutes still, so there was no way I could fall asleep on my own. So, the nurse came up with a solution. She warned me that painkiller would make me feel really drunk. Oh my, I thought she was kidding. It took the liquid drug only a second to hit me through my IV. Within a minute I was asleep, or at least I thought so. I slept for almost 4 hours and woke up being extremely hung over. Michael told me I was so hilarious while drugged. Obviously I didn't fall asleep right away, we talked for a couple minutes before I did. I was telling him about polka dots, transformers and roller coasters. WTH? No memory of it at all. He wanted to video tape me but I passed out pretty fast. But the after effect was horrible. It was like having the worst hang over ever!!!
Here are a couple of pictures taken at the hospital next morning in case if you are already tired of all these letters)
As I mentioned couple posts before I was waiting for my Tuesday appointment to see if I got any further or should I say closer to a big moment. In any case, we agreed that my doctor sends me to the hospital that same day and we go from there. My check up didn't give us any news. The only thing that changed since my previous appointment, the baby had dropped lower. Still no effacement or dialation. I didn't notice any signs of close labour as well. No mucus plug, no bleeding, no crazy nesting instinct (besides the one I already had for over a month), even my contractions got way milder comparing to those I had two weeks earlier. Since I was determined to have this baby asap I came to my doctor's office all ready. I had two hospital bags packed, I painted my nails, did my make up and curled my hair (silly me). I was a little nervous and tired, cause I slept only for a couple hours the previous night. My doctor sticked to the plan and sent me to the hospital. She previously explained to me what was gonna happen step by step and promised to visit me there in the evening. I got accepted to the hospital around 2 pm. The room I got was super huge and nice. I was told to get changed into a hospital gown. Then they put monitors on my belly to see baby's heartbeat and my contractions. I also got a tonometer sleeve on my right arm to measure my pressure. And of course they couldn't skip the IV in my left arm. You know surprisingly all these things were so freaking annoying and bothering! The monitors made my belly super itchy, the sleeve was squeezing my arm every freaking 2 minutes and it was actually even painful, my IV was just hurting and I couldn't find a comfy position for my arm to rest. Not to mention that using the bathroom was another pain in the ass since I had to carry my IV bag and it took forever to get me detached from the monitors. I had to ask Mike for help every time I had to pee which was probably every half an hour. They even let me have a light dinner!! But since my biggest fear was pooping while pushing I was really hesitant about eating anything at all. I had a couple bites and drank the whole cup of nasty hospital coffee which at that point seemed to be so delicious.
There were many check ups done by nurses and doctors but the action started much later. Only around 7.30 I finally got to the first stage of my induction - with a prostaglandin. And of course it was a male doctor which made me feel so uncomfortable that I was almost ready to refuse and wait for a female one. Silly me! How does this work. The tablet of prostaglandin is used to ripen the cervix since in my case there were no signs of effacement or dialation yet. The tablet is usually devided into 4 parts and is inserted into vagina. It is supposed to stimulate contractions. The second piece of the tablet can be given in 8 or so hours in case if there is no progress. After I got a tablet the nurses came every couple hours to check if I was contracting well. And I was. My contractions were pretty regular and somewhere at 6 and later 7 on a scale to 10 (10 would be the most painful contractions I experienced until getting epidural). I was offered some pain medication but I was scared taking it would slow down my dialation and I just wanted to be over it asap, so I was concentrating on my breathing and whining to my husband. The worst thing was that my contractions were barely a minute and a half apart, so I didn't have much time to relax. On the other hand, I was encouraging myself imagining how I was dialating more and more with every contraction. Another words, I was trying my hardest to justify the pain I was going through. Probably three hours after induction my doctor finally came to check on me as she promised. But after sticking her fingers you know where she killed me with the news - I was only 1 cm dialated and 10% effaced. Well, 8 hours since my induction around 4 am after suffering so badly, refusing pain medication, and being completely exhausted I was finally offered to have some rest. I didn't progress any further since my doctor's check up and it was decided to let me sleep in order to start all over in the morning. At this point something funny happened. I was contracting every two minutes still, so there was no way I could fall asleep on my own. So, the nurse came up with a solution. She warned me that painkiller would make me feel really drunk. Oh my, I thought she was kidding. It took the liquid drug only a second to hit me through my IV. Within a minute I was asleep, or at least I thought so. I slept for almost 4 hours and woke up being extremely hung over. Michael told me I was so hilarious while drugged. Obviously I didn't fall asleep right away, we talked for a couple minutes before I did. I was telling him about polka dots, transformers and roller coasters. WTH? No memory of it at all. He wanted to video tape me but I passed out pretty fast. But the after effect was horrible. It was like having the worst hang over ever!!!
Here are a couple of pictures taken at the hospital next morning in case if you are already tired of all these letters)
So, in the morning around 8 I got some very light breakfast. Then I was told I needed to try to walk around for a little bit before they put me back in bed and continue my 'tortures'. That was easy to say but hard to do. I literally couldn't stand on my feet I was so dizzy and nauseous (like a real worst hangover ever). I barely had any contractions though, I guess I should blame for it that drug I had. Took me around 3 hours to recover, even though I was still sleepy and tired. But! They took me off all the monitors, detached the IV bag and let me have a shower. It was paradise. I got a fresh gown, frsh linen, and fresh body. Unfortunately, the freshness and relative happiness didn't last long. My doctor walked in at 11 and promised to stick around as long as it would be needed to deliver my baby. I knew they were going to start the pitocin to stimulate contractions, but I didn't expect what happened next. She checked me for dialation and I was only 1,5 cm. Pathetic! I should admit all these check ups were extremely uncomfortable and even a little painfull, and embarrassing too (since I was so concerned about all these people staring in between my legs). And here comes the surprise. Everything happened so fast that I didn't even have a chance to prepare myself. My doc decided to rupture my amniotic sac. The nurse gave her that little stick with a hook at the end and... It wasn't painful, but all this hot water that started coming out made me freak out. Since I didn't really see what was going on down there I could only judge on my feelings. And it felt like I was leaking tons of hot blood making my whole bed soaking wat. There were tons of pads underneath me and my waters were clear (not bloody), but imagination is a crazy thing. And here's something even crazier - I started crying like a baby, histerically. I couldn't explain why. It's not like I was in pain. But I was so grossed out by everything and I felt so sorry for myself. I would never wanna go back to that moment. Mike was freaking out too sitting in his chair. We agreed that when someone was checking on me he wasn't allowed to look or interfere. As soon as the doctor left he was right there by my side holding my arm and trying to calm me down. He is my hero! I would have died there without him! In a little bit I started getting pitocin. They were planning on increasing the dosage as needed. The contractions started almost right away, and they were getting stronger and more painful pretty fast. Good thing my doctor promised me I would get epidural as soon as I would ask for it. She said I was exhausted enough and there was no reason to suffer more. She warned me it would take up to an hour for the anesthesiologist to arrive after my request, so she gave me an advice not to wait to the point when I couldn't stand it anymore. I decided that two hours of extremely painful and intense contractions were enough. Breathing didn't help to fight the pain. I couldn't focus. And even in between I couldn't relax cause I was terrified by upcoming contraction. It felt like my lower belly and my back were being smashed, scrambled and squished with every new wave. So, in two hours I asked for epidural.
It only took the specialist half an hour to come. Thank God! Michael had to leave the room, so he went for a smoke. The whole needle insertion wasn't bad at all. It felt very unpleasant when the medicine hit my body, like something cold and gross was spreading all over coming from my spine. But it lasted just a couple seconds. Since now on my body from the waist down started getting numb little by little. I should say the effect from epidurol was very different from what I expected. I thought that I wouldn't feel anything at all and won't be able to move my legs. First of all, since I was lying on my left side the medicine wasn't spreading equally through my body. In half an hour my right leg was numb and felt big and heavy while my right leg was absolutely same as usual. I told the nurse about that and she said it was common and offered to turn on the other side. Still I should say that my right leg felt pretty 'normal' till the very end. Seconf of all, I still could feel my contractions pretty good, lets say 5-6 on the scale to 10 while I expected that pain would go away completely. I don't know, maybe it happened so because of pitocin since they were keeping increasing the dosage. I read that if you get you labour induced and your contractions stimulated chances are the pain you experience will be stronger than with 100% natural labour. Anyways, it felt much better with epidurol. I wasn't all happy and chatty but at least I wasn't moaning anymore. Since it worked so differently on my both legs I was concerned about my lady parts not getting numb enough, but when I touched them I felt absoolutely nothing. That calmed me down.
My doctor came to check on me a little bit later and announced that I was 4-5 cm dialated and 90% effaced. It was around 5 pm and even though I was happy I got half way through I still realized I had another 5 cm to go. Since it took me so long to get where I was I started thinking that my baby had chances to be born after midnight, thus the next day. So, I was trying to think of something nice and kind of relax while Mike was napping. At 8 my doctor walked in all dressed up for delivery which made me alert right away. She checked on me and announced that we are finally at 10 cm all ready to push. And she left to start the preparations. I remember I was trying to wake my husband up. I told him we were having a baby. He was like 'Duh'. Then I said, 'No, I mean right now'. You should have seen him jumping off the chair. Couple minutes later all these people started walking into the room bringing stuff. It all looked so scary, like I wasn't freaked out enough. I felt so paniced like never before in my life. I was crying and Mike was holding my hand trying to encourage me. My legs were shaking like crazy and I was hitting the button for more epidurol every 5 seconds (I am sure it was not working like that, thus it made no difference at all). There were 2 nurses, my doctor, assisting doctor and another man, like a trainee or however you call it. I felt so fucking embarrassed with my legs spread in front of all those people. I know they are used to it but I am not, it felt soooooo awkward. We agreed with Mike that he was staying in the room (primarily I didn't want him there) and he wasn't allowed to look anywhere else but at my face. They let him hold my leg. Honestly, I would rather just have him standing behind my back with no participation at all. I was scared he would see too much and would never have passion or desire for my anymore. I know I probably sound silly, but I still think active labour is gross. Anyways, my doctor told me to listen only to her and no one else. It was easy cause she was the one talking Ukrainian lol I was pushing mostly with my eyes closed. I didn't feel anything which was even a little frustrating, cause I couldn't tell if I was doing a good job. The only other voice I was listening to was Mike's. He was so supportive and loving at that moment. I am so proud of my husband! It took me probably 5 or 6 contractions till my little boy came out. He was born at 8:24 pm, 7 lbs 6 oz and 18,5 in.
It's so amazing how I started crying as soon as I heard his first cry. I should admit that moment when you hold your baby for the first time is magical, that's a unique experience I can't explain. For the first time in my life I felt ultimate pure love that comes at first sight. Mike let me name the baby. My choice - Sawyer Alexander Sides. And also you might think I am crazy but a couple hours before my son was born I saw an angel in my room.
It only took the specialist half an hour to come. Thank God! Michael had to leave the room, so he went for a smoke. The whole needle insertion wasn't bad at all. It felt very unpleasant when the medicine hit my body, like something cold and gross was spreading all over coming from my spine. But it lasted just a couple seconds. Since now on my body from the waist down started getting numb little by little. I should say the effect from epidurol was very different from what I expected. I thought that I wouldn't feel anything at all and won't be able to move my legs. First of all, since I was lying on my left side the medicine wasn't spreading equally through my body. In half an hour my right leg was numb and felt big and heavy while my right leg was absolutely same as usual. I told the nurse about that and she said it was common and offered to turn on the other side. Still I should say that my right leg felt pretty 'normal' till the very end. Seconf of all, I still could feel my contractions pretty good, lets say 5-6 on the scale to 10 while I expected that pain would go away completely. I don't know, maybe it happened so because of pitocin since they were keeping increasing the dosage. I read that if you get you labour induced and your contractions stimulated chances are the pain you experience will be stronger than with 100% natural labour. Anyways, it felt much better with epidurol. I wasn't all happy and chatty but at least I wasn't moaning anymore. Since it worked so differently on my both legs I was concerned about my lady parts not getting numb enough, but when I touched them I felt absoolutely nothing. That calmed me down.
My doctor came to check on me a little bit later and announced that I was 4-5 cm dialated and 90% effaced. It was around 5 pm and even though I was happy I got half way through I still realized I had another 5 cm to go. Since it took me so long to get where I was I started thinking that my baby had chances to be born after midnight, thus the next day. So, I was trying to think of something nice and kind of relax while Mike was napping. At 8 my doctor walked in all dressed up for delivery which made me alert right away. She checked on me and announced that we are finally at 10 cm all ready to push. And she left to start the preparations. I remember I was trying to wake my husband up. I told him we were having a baby. He was like 'Duh'. Then I said, 'No, I mean right now'. You should have seen him jumping off the chair. Couple minutes later all these people started walking into the room bringing stuff. It all looked so scary, like I wasn't freaked out enough. I felt so paniced like never before in my life. I was crying and Mike was holding my hand trying to encourage me. My legs were shaking like crazy and I was hitting the button for more epidurol every 5 seconds (I am sure it was not working like that, thus it made no difference at all). There were 2 nurses, my doctor, assisting doctor and another man, like a trainee or however you call it. I felt so fucking embarrassed with my legs spread in front of all those people. I know they are used to it but I am not, it felt soooooo awkward. We agreed with Mike that he was staying in the room (primarily I didn't want him there) and he wasn't allowed to look anywhere else but at my face. They let him hold my leg. Honestly, I would rather just have him standing behind my back with no participation at all. I was scared he would see too much and would never have passion or desire for my anymore. I know I probably sound silly, but I still think active labour is gross. Anyways, my doctor told me to listen only to her and no one else. It was easy cause she was the one talking Ukrainian lol I was pushing mostly with my eyes closed. I didn't feel anything which was even a little frustrating, cause I couldn't tell if I was doing a good job. The only other voice I was listening to was Mike's. He was so supportive and loving at that moment. I am so proud of my husband! It took me probably 5 or 6 contractions till my little boy came out. He was born at 8:24 pm, 7 lbs 6 oz and 18,5 in.
It's so amazing how I started crying as soon as I heard his first cry. I should admit that moment when you hold your baby for the first time is magical, that's a unique experience I can't explain. For the first time in my life I felt ultimate pure love that comes at first sight. Mike let me name the baby. My choice - Sawyer Alexander Sides. And also you might think I am crazy but a couple hours before my son was born I saw an angel in my room.